When people have asked me if I was guarded, I’ve always had trouble answering. You see, I’m the kind of person that completely trusts everyone until they teach me not to. Or I used to be that way. However, I think life experiences have taught me to behave slightly differently. Now I more so give off the perception that I’m unguarded while still holding a good deal of my emotions inside. But one thing I’ve never been is blocked off.
I think many people confuse being guarded and blocked off completely. You see being blocked off is not letting anyone or anything in or out. Not giving anything a chance to have access to your heart. This could be from learned behavior, hurt, pain, trauma, or a combination of all of the above. But is being blocked off really useful? Is walking around not allowing anyone in even healthy? I don’t think it is; I think it will enable people to be comfortable in their stagnation. Which for a specified period of time feels nice and cozy, but ultimately can lead to an unhappy and unfulfilled life.
Whereas being guarded is just being wise about who is allowed in and how long they’re allowed in. I mean even the White House permits people in daily for tours, after a background check of course. This entitles you to share emotions and allow feelings to naturally flow in and out as needed. Does this mean that you may let someone into the first floor only to realize they don’t deserve to get to the second? Of course! But at least you allowed them the chance to get there, instead of just shoving them on an elevator directly to the deepest depths of your soul.
While being a sometimey guarded person, I still think I shove people on that elevator a little bit too soon. Which makes me tighten up the background check a bit more each time. But I am always careful to ensure that I’m not creating the barrier to entry so high that no one can ever enter. Because from the outside looking in, it’s difficult to determine if a person’s heart is guarded or blocked when you’ve been rejected entry.
I think it’s okay to let some people in, but we must be discerning over who to let in and out, how far you let them in, and how long you let them stay.
What are your thoughts? How do you guard your heart?