The Best F**cking Thing You Never Gave Me by Sitoria Townsend

I used to hate when I wasn’t given something I knew I deserved.  Remember that feeling of wanting something so bad after you worked so hard for it?  Or simply because you knew you deserved it. Exactly. We’ve experienced that at least once in our lives, even more so in adulthood.

In adulthood we experience this quite differently and under negative circumstances sometimes…unfortunately.

Break Up: Didn’t get the closure you needed?

Disagreements: Didn’t get the apology you know you deserved?

I’m going to stop right here with these two, because they can actually be applied to multiple situations and hold a lot of weight.

I used to cringe at the thought of someone not handling themselves accordingly in situations. Those thoughts of:

“How could you?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“They got me messed up!”

“They owe me __________.”

Harsh reality is that these folks really don’t owe you anything and receiving nothing from them is sometimes the best thing you can receive.

When we end those friendships or relationships there usually is no explanation for how it got to that point, but it ended for a reason. Let that reason be your fuel to never look back or to simply give yourself space from the situation. In that time, also realize that you’ve already been equipped with the lessons you were supposed to get from that person to move on.

Remember how in the beginning I said I felt like I deserved that apology or closure? Well, in that moment I felt justified because of the emotions that I was experiencing.

I had a pretty ugly break up and recently we finally sat down to talk. I battled so long about whether or not I needed to have this conversation because I had personally gotten past the hurt and pain, and also I said I was happy I wasn’t in the position I was in anymore that made me feel disrespected. The universe had other plans, though. The drama that occurred during the break up was not becoming of either one of us, so I think that’s why it was on my heart for so long and I took action.

BUT, I will say this. Had that conversation not taken place I still would have been ok. In those moments we don’t get what we need from the other person we tend to pull from an inner strength, that was already there and we didn’t even know it, to move on with our lives. In that time I had learned more about what I wanted/needed in my life. I didn’t go back and forth looking at his social media; I didn’t constantly check my phone to see if I had any missed notifications from him. I just simply removed myself from all that occurred and consciously took that time to understand the position I was in and why I was there.

I was essentially broken down so God could show me that he was going to be the one to build me back up and show me that everything I possessed in me all along to grow from this.

We may not always agree with the universe’s way of handing us a slice of “humble pie”, but we must see that we have the power to release ourselves from people and situations once we stop yearning for something we “felt” we deserved.  Baby, see it as a blessing that you don’t always end where you started and get excited about the lessons you learned so you can now apply them to your new journey!



Meet the Author

I am just a simple, yet curious soul hungry to get the most out of life through everyday and every experience. Coming from the “Windy City” to this “Southern Hospitality”, I have definitely gotten the best of both worlds and through it all I have discovered one of my true loves, writing. More importantly, I have discovered myself. From a lost voice to someone who has found their voice, I aim to inspire others to be confident in their own journeys so they too can learn how to shape their stories and be unashamed in it. There’s too much in this world that we miss because of our own struggles or journeys we have not to come to grips with and we find ourselves stuck. It’s time we end that and learn how to process life and live. As Muhammad Ali once said, “A man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. To stay updated with the latest for Sitoria Speaks be sure to subscribe on the homepage! Also, you can follow me on Twitter & Instagram @SitoriaSpeaks.

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