YOU NOT MY DADDD: 3 Reasons Why Y’all Need to Stop Shading Father’s Day

Well guys, it’s that time of the year again. NO NO, not the time to discuss another celebrity’s nude body on social media. I mean Father’s Day; the day we recognize fathers and other male role models that have made a positive contribution to our lives. Sounds beautiful, right? Well, some of y’all (I said SOME) disagree and decide to celebrate it in less flattering ways that have always made me cringe. Celebrating in these negative ways not only demeans the slew of positive male figures in our society, but also just plain makes y’all look petty and hurt. I thought we were trying to do better in 2017. I certainly don’t need any hateration in my dancerie, so if you do any of the following on this lovely Sunday, consider yourself royally blocked.

  1. This is not the Bash the Deadbeats Day; it’s Honor the Worthy Day. I DO NOT need to see your ode to a father that wasn’t there. If your father was a deadbeat I’m genuinely sorry, but not today. You’re All Lives Mattering the day. Just don’t. Why even give the attention to someone who wasn’t worth a raggedy polyester tie or a dollar store card? It’s just not necessary.
  2. Your mom is not your father. Yes, she may have served double duty as your only active parent, but she’ll never replace an actual father. DO NOT post your mom; whether you had a sperm donor or not, your mom is just that: your mom, and her day for recognition was last month. If you didn’t get it all out of your system, then wait another week or so and post all of your childhood pictures with her. Honoring your mother on Father’s Day is honestly a bit disgracing; you’re reminding her that her child’s father wasn’t there to support you. Whether or not she knew your father wouldn’t be around, she would’ve prefer for her children to have some kind of male role model in their lives.
  3. You’re reinforcing the issue that you’re facing instead of solving it. Let’s face it, the unconditional love of a man devoted to your growth and success is a major blessing for any of us, but, unfortunately, not one we all receive. Bashing Father’s Day is an expression of unhealed wounds. A day meant for something that you’ve always missed out on is a big punch in the chest. While I’ve never experienced it directly, I certainly know what it feels like to be reminded of that which you desire but don’t possess, and I empathize with everyone for whom Father’s Day is hard. However, we should be trying to heal and deal with those emotions instead of encouraging one another to live in the pain of not having a father figure in our lives. Bitterness doesn’t feel good. Give me a hug.

All-in-all just don’t do it. If you have to take a day off of social media, then do so. If it’s possible, maybe try reconciling with the father that wasn’t there, even mildly with a text, or that dollar store card. If you have close friends with good fathers, I’m sure they’d embrace you. Hell, we can share my dad. He has a hug and a listening ear ready for anyone who needs it, and more than enough love to go around. No matter what alternative you try, please let the wonderful men that have supported us day in and out have their day. They deserve it. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.

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