The city of selfies where everyone’s life seems perfect is a breeding ground for thirst traps, twerk videos, and eggplant prints. Well not far behind is the want to be with someone based off of the pictures they’ve shared. How can you be with someone you don’t have any connection to without being a creep? Well grab your notepads, this is a step-by-step tutorial on how to shoot your shot on Instagram.
Step 1: Follow
I know you’ve already stalked them for days or even months, but you HAVE to follow them. That’s the first time you’ll pop up on their radar. Don’t follow them right after they’ve posted something new; follow them at a time they wouldn’t be getting notifications from anyone. They’re more likely to see who you are if you’re the only name popping up in their notification bar.
Step 2: Wait for a follow back
Sometimes the follow back will come right away; sometimes it’ll never come. If the person has 12k followers and are only following 12 people, you’ll never get a follow back (skip to step 3.) However, most of us regular folk will scroll through your pictures to see if you’re fine, if you have any connection to us, or if you have any similar followers and then follow. If your page is private, it better be A1! Your avi has to be the best angle ever, and your bio just better have something in which I’d be interested. Then you’ll get a follow.
Step 3: Start the liking game
Like 3 of their pictures; not all new ones. You have to like a new one, a relatively old one, then a stupid old one like from the beginning of Instagram pic that’s blurry with too many filters. If they’re interested, they’ll like a few of yours too. Now please don’t have any recent pics with you looking coupled up; that’ll be one of the first ones they’ll like, just to be petty. Nevertheless, after they like some of your pics, you have to like another pic or 2 of theirs. They’ll like another back. Liking game over. You can get trapped in the liking game, so two rounds are more than enough.
Step 4: Comment on a pic
If they have a pic with a question, answer it. If the person has a pic of some intellectual thought that interests you, you should go deeper and respond to it; you can even say that you’re reposting it on your profile. Please don’t be corny and just comment with the heart eyes and think that’ll do the trick, it won’t. Heart eyes are much too often ignored or just added to the rest of the heart eyes in the comments that won’t get a response. Emojis aren’t conversation starters, use your words.
Step 5: Have a conversation in the comments
If you completed step 4, a conversation should come soon after. A little bit of back and forth here is important. Make your bae-to-be interested to know you better. Make sure your responses always leave them with something to answer or counter. ENGAGE THEM. If you make them laugh, you get a bonus. But that could be touchy because everyone’s sense of humor is different.
Step 6: Dive In
It’s time to shift the conversation to a more private space; in the comments section, essentially anyone can jump in and ruin your chances. Plus, aren’t the DMs the goal??? Now you get to know the small nuances that make them who they are and things that you couldn’t obviously learn from their profile. Remember yall aren’t besties yet, so discuss intense topics at your own risk. After a few days of talking in the DMs, you can ask to exchange numbers. DO NOT ask right away, that’s creepy, I don’t know you! Nevertheless, once you’ve now transferred the conversation off of Instagram, you’re on the road to success.
Step 7: Meme It
Get married and make a meme about how it went down in the DMs and Syddie helped you live a happy life. You’re welcome.
Now if you’re bold, confident, or willing to take the chance, you could skip some of these steps and shoot from half court; do one round of liking then jump in the DMs. Just be prepared for a mean curve if you’re going to dive in earlier. As always, comment if this process has worked for you in the past or to let me know what technique you use to shoot your shot. Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. That doesn’t mean dive in all my friends DMs at the same time. This process should only be attempted with one person at a time because screenshots are real.