Hey Beauties (men and women,) let’s talk. I’ve been seeing a lot of posts lately about preparing to be a wife and/or the characteristics men want of their future wife and I’m perplexed. I’m confused because many of these requirements won’t lead to the success of any kind of relationship. I can’t help but think the reason why we aren’t getting what we need is because we’re looking for things that don’t matter.
Here’s one issue I’ve come across:
Man: My mom had dinner on the table every night for my father, I expect my future wife to do the same.
Woman: You don’t know how to cook? I’m too busy to cook every night.
Man: See and you wonder why you’re single.
Really? Let’s dissect this. This man’s expectation of his wife is to nourish him, which is quite alright. However, this is not a necessity; you’ve fed yourself for a number of years and if your mate doesn’t cook every single night I’m sure you will survive. Also, you’re forgetting one fact about your mother, she had you. While you may have perceived her having dinner on the table every night as something she did for her husband, she was truly doing it for you. People adapt to their living situations, when you have a child you will go across the world and back to make sure they are taken care of. Lastly, cooking every night isn’t even a good use of your time. Let’s be honest meal prepping saves lives.
Another issue I’ve seen:
Woman: My dad was strong; I never saw him cry a day in my life.
Man: I’m in touch with my emotions.
Woman: Oh that’s why you’re single, you’re too emotional.
Newsflash, we all have emotions! A woman’s expectation of her spouse to be strong 24/7 is not only unrealistic but unhealthy. There will come a time when you want him to express his emotions and what will you do then? Though you may not have seen your father cry, I’m sure he showed emotion in other ways or maybe he just cried when you weren’t looking. We only view our parents from a child’s perspective and don’t realize how much we don’t truly know about them. Being in touch with your emotions and/or being emotional is never a bad thing. How you handle your emotions is what truly matters.
These are just two examples but the list goes on:
- Expecting him to be a handyman/mechanic
- Expecting her to be a sexual goddess and a virgin
- Expecting him not to have any attractive female friends
- Expecting her to naturally look like a supermodel
- Expecting him to financially support your every move
- Expecting her to be independent and a damsel in distress
This is all to say the unrealistic expectations must stop. First ensure that you exhibit the characteristics in yourself that you want from anyone else. And even more the public shaming of people that don’t meet these expectations must end. Different behaviors work for different relationships. So yes some women may cook for their partner every night but some men may as well. We have greater characteristics to determine who’s good for us than these. These aren’t standards that will truly determine the success or failure of a relationship. Think about what you really need when dating for a relationship. (Refer to Wants vs Needs Podcast)