Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater

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Some say all men cheat. I don’t believe that. I think you make a choice to cheat. I don’t believe it is in their genes. I don’t believe you get carried away. I believe you make a choice. But the real question is, if he cheated do I take him back? I don’t know what I would do. I have never been cheated on (not that I know of), so though my mind says I would leave instantly. I am not sure if I really would. I do think there are some levels of cheating. Like was the cheating emotional, physical, or like a full blown affair that combines the two. Was it just a one time? What do I even consider cheating? Or does any of that matter if I can’t forgive him?

What is considered cheating?

Cheating is anything you wouldn’t want your partner to know you are doing. If you are having to hide texts or meet ups, I think you are crossing a line. For example, flirting isn’t cheating to me but I have friends who believes that flirting is cheating. A cheating conversation needs to happen to determine what lines shouldn’t be crossed.

Emotional vs. Physical Cheating

Some say emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating. I disagree I would be pissed if it was emotional or physical. You should only be emotional or physical with me! I don’t like to share period.

Affair vs. One Night

What’s worse? I think an affair is worse than a one nighter. To me it’s easier to forgive that than a two-month affair. Affairs involve more lies, plans, and cover ups. I’m not for it.

Caught or Confess

I would have so much respect if I was told upfront than catching the guy. The pain would remain the same but I have always respected people who tells the truth even if it is difficult. If I caught the person, I would always wonder if you would have told me or would this have gone further.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness in any capacity is difficult for me. It is hard to let go or a person or situation that has brought me pain. When it comes to cheating, if you chose to forgive, you have to forgive them completely. You can’t keep bringing it up whenever you want. You have to put in the effort to mend the relationship and to gain trust. Once a cheater always a cheater? Not necessarily, I believe it could be a one-time thing. That call ultimately depends on what you feel. Don’t be fooled though, it is one thing to forgive for a first offense, it is another to constantly forgive behavior that a person is clearly ok doing. At the end of day, be smart, be thoughtful, and be sure in your decision to forgive.

 

Communication is key my friends! Having discussions, even the difficult discussions is needed if you want to have a healthy relationship. If problems are occurring in the relationship or if you were catching feelings for someone else, then it is your job to be honest with your mate. You don’t get to have your cake and eat it too. Don’t drag people into your mess. If you want to see multiple people at once, each person deserves to know that’s your intention. If you are in an exclusive relationship and decide you don’t want that anymore, that person deserves to know the truth before cheating or acting out. Cheating doesn’t have to be an option.

 

What do you guys think? I want to hear your thoughts or questions.

4 Comments Add yours

  1. GINNY says:

    It’s one of the conundrums of life and makes you wonder if we aren’t either just better off alone, or forgetting monogamy. At the heart of it though you really just want to be in it whatever it is, at the same pace and of the same mind. Because cheating to me is a selfish act. Either we’re both going to see who we want to see, or we don’t see other at all. I’ve been cheated on, and destroys your trust, in that person and most likely in many others you will meet following. It’s up to you how you deal with it, because at the end of the day it’s not that something bad happened to you it’s how you’ll live with it afterwards. Take him back if he’s repentant and not a serial cheater. Kick his ass otherwise.

    Like

  2. GINNY says:

    EDITED:)
    It’s one of the conundrums of life and makes you wonder if we aren’t either just better off alone, or forgetting monogamy. At the heart of it though you really just want to be in it whatever it is, at the same pace and of the same mind with someone else. Because cheating to me is a selfish act. Either we’re both going to see who we want to see, or we don’t see each other at all. I’ve been cheated on and it destroys your trust in that person and most likely in many others you will meet following. It’s up to you how you deal with it though, because at the end of the day it’s not that something bad happened to you it’s how you’ll live with it afterwards. Take him back if he’s repentant and not a serial cheater. Kick his ass otherwise.

    Like

    1. Patreseknows says:

      Thank you for reading and this awesome comment! 🙂 I agree with you. It’s how you deal and live with it afterwards. I hate cheating for that very reason it does so much damage. I just don’t respect it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. GINNY says:

        You’re exactly right. And thank you too. I enjoyed your post. It caught my eye as it is a real life, everyday occurrence that we all in some way must deal with.

        Liked by 1 person

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