If you’re asking that question, then I’d say yes. Why are you questioning yourself? Are you uneasy in the relationship? Are your finances prepared? I think those questions need answers before you sign any lease. (And make sure both names are always on the lease for God’s sake, please.)
So let’s start with the broader topic of discussion – should partners move in before marriage?
Sure, why not? I personally see no probably with it. You’re already over each other’s homes everyday, leaving your draws, shoes, and even a tooth brush in the bathroom. And even better you’ll get to split the bills. CHA-CHING! Seems like a win-win situation to me. I’m more concerned with the reason you’re moving in together; is it just temporary before the wedding? Is it because you want to save money? Or is it just because you believe in common law? All of these are very valid reasons to live together.
Some may call it shacking up and deem it as living in sin. However, just because you’re not living together doesn’t mean you aren’t still living in what some people deem as sin. You’re more than likely already engaging in premarital sex. So just because living together makes it obvious to the world that you’re having sex, it doesn’t make it any different in the eyes of God. Your interaction with your mate would not be any more or less holy than it was living apart.
I hear some people say they move in together because they want to solidify their relationship. I’ve even heard someone say “I want to make sure these hoes know he’s mine.” To that I say, HA! #SorryNotSorry but to me that’s just foolish. You should be able to be secure in your relationship without living together. Because, believe me, if your mate was cheating on you before you lived together, a lease won’t change that. They’ll just have to get more creative if they care enough to hide it from you. What’s App, GroupMe, Google Chat. There are ways it can be done. Furthermore, a lease won’t keep those “hoes” away from your man during his lunch break at work, basketball games at night, or Wednesday Bible Study.
I think it’s very important to be completely secure in your relationship before moving in together because it is a test. You will learn things about your mate you didn’t know before. Not necessarily bad things but just daily habits and routines you’ll both have to get adjusted to. Honestly, you learn those things living with anybody, not just a mate.
Now if you’re reason for holding off living together is because you would like knowing one another that intimately to be held off until marriage, then by all means wait. I completely understand wanting to save waking up with bad breath blowing in your face EVERY MORNING for after the vows. Some things you may truly only deal with in the confines of marriage. It’s ok; cherish those moments.
So is it too soon? I don’t know, you tell me. What I do know is everyone’s situation is different. Do what’s best for you, but make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons so you’re not out on the street one month later. #IJS