Remember that time you were ready to read your boyfriend for filth only to realize you created this whole thing in your head because you assumed and now you feel stupid. (Been there too many times.) We make so many assumptions about what someone is thinking or why they do what they do without ever having a conversation. We take what we “think” and create situations and problems that don’t necessarily exist. This is done often in relationships. We assume they know what we think, feel, and want. Communication is the key to any long-lasting relationship. How many arguments could have been avoided if only we discussed instead of assuming and arguing. You can also read how to successfully argue here.
I have a friend who likes to receive love verbally (words of affirmation). For her, him saying his feelings out loud makes it real for her. My advice “That’s when you say for me communicating how you feel for to me is important. Hearing you say it makes it real for me.” Her response was “Exactly…but he should know that.”
So many times, we say “he’s supposed to know” or “he should know that”. But why? Why should he know? In most cases, you are not the first girl he’s dated. So why all sudden is he supposed to know what you like and don’t like. We are all different and the way we send and receive love is different. In this situation, she likes to receive words of affirmation but what if in his last relationship that wasn’t a need of hers. How would he know he needs to communicate his feelings verbally on a regular basis?
A guy doesn’t know anything until you tell him. Men aren’t as complicated as we think they are. I personally think they are rather simple creatures. Whether it’s in casual conversation or having a heart to heart, you need to be able to express what your desires are. You should also want him to express the same types of things. We can’t continue to make these types of assumptions if we want healthy relationships. And if you are not ready to express what you want and need then maybe you shouldn’t be dating at all.
Lesson: He’s not a mind reader. Open your mouth.
Do you agree or disagree? Let’s chat below!